Right now I’m going through a cleaning out phase: physically and emotionally. I don’t know if it is the change of seasons, the realization that people have used me way too long, reading The Fly Lady a lot….I just don’t know. I can tell when it’s a cleaning out phase when writer’s block creeps in.
Last night I filled one bag of paper and missed the recycling truck this morning. I cleaned out under the bed after chasing a pet around the house and found my hand full of little odds and ends that had rolled under the bed. Out came the broom and the dustpan. I fell asleep last night, exhausted, my never ending list of things to be done still sitting here. Right now my cell phone is charging and my writer’s block isn’t present for moment. Appointments from today had to be rescheduled due to circumstances out of my control and I am asking the Universe to please let me be able to make the rescheduled plans and appointments as I have a lot coming up.
I was having a conversation recently with someone and we discussing the concept of “getting ahead.” The subject came to “getting ahead” of what? I sit and look at my constant lists, the people I need to contact, the places I need to be for various reasons and it always comes back to: what exactly is “getting ahead”? I feel some days like I’m racing in a big circle and what exactly is this mysterious finish line I’m supposed to be finding? The amount of money in my bank account? The number of pieces of paper on my wall? How many little objects I don’t find under my bed? I spent years going to school only to be told my degree in English would land me a great job as a secretary. I’ve learned more through experience and getting out living in the real world. Then I’m told that all that experience doesn’t count because I need another piece of paper on my wall. Argh.
I’m happiest with people who like myself, hustle, live their lives, enjoy their work, and don’t care about what the “important” people think because somewhere down the line, the “important” people will always change.