There’s a type of burrito everyone around here likes to eat and they are becoming harder to find and when we do, they are very expensive. After a class today, we stopped at a different grocery store. Almost $79 later and still no burritos.
The search, the hunt, the seeking, the seeker. It’s a theme that runs though our lives as humans whether we are looking for our favorite food or something more. Everyone understands that theme in life whether academically oriented or not. Searching to fit in, be part of the crowd, looking for whatever identity one wishes to hold.
In one Bible text study class I went to many years ago, the person commented that we are all first identified by the people who we are immediately surrounded with, then where we live, come from, what type of work we do, and the circle of our life expands out from there. Yet everyone continues to search for something more, the things which we cannot grasp in our hands or read about ourselves on a piece of paper. Sometimes whatever that “more” is eludes us or what we think that “more” is quietly closes the door and tells us the time for that isn’t right now, or maybe never because it will never fit with who you are. Something is being wished for or done for the wrong reason and therefore may not end up working out now or whatever you wish for may be granted in a different way than you would want or expect.
I was thinking of this as I looked at my circle for 2014 and realized there are a few things I still haven’t put up there yet. Right now I just need to keep things in front of me constantly and peck at them one-by-one. We’re brought up on this lie that we can do anything when we grow up, but them we grow up and realize we can’t do anything. I worked my way through college as a customer service associate and then as a secretary. When I left college I was handed a piece of paper saying with my English degree, next to teaching, the next best career option was secretary. I still remember the discouragement I felt and the feeling of never wanting to see that paper again.
Now here I am all these years later and still feel like I lost out. I can figure out a sentence grammatically but still bomb job interviews for work I know I can do and am capable of because no one taught interview skills: just that you should sit down and shut up. There were no classes on marketing yourself and job interview questions. And then when you graduate, it is here, by the way, something you should know. One of the items I will be searching for is better interviewing and self-marketing skills. Having a business has forced me to market myself but it is still a shock to walk into interviews that are “double-blind.”
I am determined and will be ready, even if it is ten years from now, to have a job I’ve always wanted.