by the rivers of Babylon……

My favorite scene from the show “Mad Men” is when they close the show with Don McClean’s rendition of “Babylon.”  It is a hauntingly beautiful song for a haunting show.  From the hints given so far, this show will end in a Greek tragedy mode.

We lay down and wept…..

The topic of reconciliation has come up a lot recently.  It really came to the front recently at a writer’s group I have been attending.  The coordinator began the group by reading off the definitions of the word.  There is financial reconciliation, reconciliation of things back to their original state, and the question of: is it possible?

This past month and past year has seen many of my relationships become broken.  Were the relationships close? No, but they are from different areas of my life.  There are all people I used to respect and no longer do.  The person I’ve known for 20 years who we’re paying to help only to leave us hanging and criticize our choices that have nothing to do with them and ultimately helps them.  The person a month ago who sent me a message over social media claiming something happened that didn’t, and a significant time after this something happened supposedly occurred.  I paid them money to participate and now it is down the drain.  We have already been replaced and the money down the drain.  This person is a coward, yes, a coward for not being able to call me and tell me they don’t want me to participate.  They simply called the next person on the list.  Coward.

……for thee Zion.

This concept of Zion, the promised land, has always fascinated me as it does a lot of people.  Does this promised land equal reconciliation?  No.  Once something is changed it can never be reconciled, brought back to its original state of being.  My perception of you is changed, your perception of me is changed now.  Even if by some chance the relationship should ever begin again, it can never be the same, never be reconciled.  Many of these broken relationships I can only hope, even if I stay in this area the rest of my life, that I never see these people again.  It’s urban, it is possible.  As I told someone once, there are more than 7 billion people on earth, someone else is out there.  People come and go.

…….by the rivers of Babylon.

Babylon is always equated with captivity, yet the early Jews/Hebrews survived and in a sense captivity formed today the religion we know as Judaism.  A parallel can be drawn to reconciliation.  Whatever our Babylon is, and I see plenty of Babylons working as an EMT, it only makes us stronger, draws us closer to our real person, potential, being, strength, and shows us who and what really matters in our lives.  It’s a wake up, a reminder that we have to reconcile what is important and and more importantly who is important, but that who has to meet us for who we are and treat us as a human being, not someone to be used and abused, not someone to change their mind about and throw out in a cowardly manner without some form of decency and respect.  You who will not respect me will not be my Babylon.  I will not kneel down at your waters and weep for something that obviously wasn’t.  I treated you with respect, even admired you for some things you have accomplished, but  you cannot obviously return that.  Again, you are not a Babylon.  More importantly, you are not my Babylon.

Back to “Mad Men” for a second.  People like Don Draper never change while everyone else around him is.  We have watched him repeat, repeat, repeat the same scenarios in his life over, and over,and over.  And he always goes back looking for something that is no longer there. His Babylon is obvious.  Reconciliation only occurs for him when a relationship ends, if there ever was one in the first place.

Reconciliation is not forgiveness. Let me make this clear also. Forgiveness is equal to time passing and the hurt and pain not being as intense and moving on with the seasons, with a new day and the sun coming up every morning. Forgiveness never happens when hurt and pain are constantly rubbed into your being.

As I’ve been mulling this over, how should I end this?  All I ask is for the right people, right places, right times.  I suppose my request was heard and I was told that these people are not the right people and circumstances for me.  My reconciliation is that I understand they have made their choices and I am not part of them anymore.  I also ask I never see them again, them and the others who have slandered and hurt me.  I wish them well and God speed but not with me in tow.

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