My significant other loves to have me talk about some of the past supervisors and bosses and ended relationships I have had. The stories can really liven up a party.
There was one many years ago who pushed a chair back so I would have to sit a few feet away from them. I pushed the chair back up to their desk and had the meeting head on. In the long run, they turned out to be a big liar. It was also the first meeting where I had to defend my teaching practices and explain why I believed my observations were correct. They recently left their job. I wish them the best of luck.
There have been email wars. The passive aggressive ones who like to throw people under the bus. The ones who have made me work for free because they won’t admit to running out of budget money while they earn a six-figure bureaucratic salary. The ones who put me on three different payrolls so they wouldn’t have to pay health insurance while not taking former employees off of payroll and health insurance. The ones who told me I have to come back after a medical procedure or they would replace me. The ones who liked to interrupt my classes with a lot of huffing and puffing and hot air after confronting them about contradictory statements. The ones who sent an email berating me in front of someone I had never even met. The same ones who cut my hours in retaliation.
Have it out.
I thought of all of these yesterday as I stood, hands on my hips, looking at myself reflected in someone’s sunglasses while we had it out for a good fifteen minutes.
How many times have I been in this situation before?
How many people do I want to be in this situation with? I just want to clear the air and say what needs to be said instead of the all the emails and constant drama and just plain being ignored or belittled or berated either in writing or in front of others or a combination of both. If the relationship ends forever, so be it. I can have my own Christmas parties.
I know some people claim to abhor drama while creating it and others just plain hate confrontation.
My motto has always been either say it to my face or don’t say it at all. And I mean my face. Call me but don’t email me at 10 p.m. or Facebook message that could be a fucking college essay over something that could have been said and dropped in five minutes. Don’t unfriend me on Facebook and then go on Facebook and call me a cheap bitch in front of people I don’t know just because you wanted a cheap gift you didn’t get.
I don’t play those games.
Sit down and let’s talk or we can go somewhere and just have it out.
When I have it out, I feel much better.
When I say something that needs to be said, I feel much better.
Things went much better today. I’m glad I had it out with this other person.