Here I am/ I am here

I haven’t talked about my personal stuff in a long while.  I was told not good for business but 2016 has been a tough year and there are still a few weeks left.  I feel like I am holding my breath waiting for the calendar to turn.

There have been a lot of endings and a lot of changes.  A lot of old energy has been released and unwanted memories tossed.  Yet from that has come new beginnings.  Some conversations I don’t want to have until 2017.

A couple of days ago as I was prepping dinner I listened to what is supposedly Leonard Cohen’s last interview.  I was was just discussing him a few minutes before the news came through social media that he had died.

In the interview he talked about how after his father died, he cut a piece of one of his father’s ties, wrote a tribute on it, and then went outside and buried the piece of tie.  That struck a chord with me.  I write it down, write the feelings down, and bury it.  Or in some cases, burn it.  Sometimes for all of the ritual surrounding something, it is the small personal things and the personal time that the most is reaped from.

One of Cohen’s last songs, “You Want It Darker”, referenced the Biblical language of “Hineni”.  It means, “here I am, I am here.”  I was reminded of one of the instances this is used in the Book of Genesis recently: when God calls to Abraham to begin the process of sacrificing Isaac.  Whenever God calls out, Abraham answers…or at least from what the reader is told.  Here I am, I am here.  Cohen reflects this story in his song.  I’ll say yes and ask for details later.

Sometimes that is all you can do.

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One thought on “Here I am/ I am here

  1. Angela, all we are given is today. “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” I can handle what’s on my plate just for today. No point worrying about what’s to come. You can plan, but don’t plan the outcome. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

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